Friday, July 26, 2019

Portals: Beware of Where your Mind Travels

So I've been practicing mindfulness as much as I can everyday, and its not a quick fix. Sometimes my anxiety is too strong. I try to stay in the moment but I'm faced with crushing defeat. You see my mind travels a lot, a symptom of restlessness or even unhappiness with the present moment. Certain stimuli trigger what I like to call "Portals" to open in my mind. These portals, once active, take me to any number of places, but they usually stay within the confines of time and possibility. That means, as long as I am stable, I travel between past or future. Its getting back to the present reality that becomes a problem, however. If I can escape the trigger, travel back is possible. But what if you cant? What if your stuck in a situation and all you can do is try your best to stay level headed. You try to return the the present, but the past or future is staring you in the face. Mindfulness can help, but only if one, you've practiced and gotten good enough at it that it actually works on you during crippling distress, and two, you have a moment to practice it, like if you're alone.

For me, I was alone to use what I learned, but the trigger of a certain song sent me flying flash forward into a future portal where my thoughts raced about the end of the world. The trigger was two words, end of the world, then soon after, trump. I'm not about to get political here, I promise. But right before I was admitted in the hospital last, I was wholeheartedly convinced he was the harbinger of the Final Days. So my head spun with concerns like how did he know too? And from there the temptation to bring up past conspiracies, most of which weren't realistic. So I was almost completely paralyzed, unable to work properly, praying that it would end. So yeah, I believe our minds will travel to any number of places, either to feel safe, deal with internal struggles. But keep in mind what the mind might find safe might not be safe for the person. So now the person is trapped in the mindset, be it past, future, or pretending to be someone or something else entirely, all because the brain feels in control. But we are not our brains, our minds being just a part of us. Now we're trapped in this place and have racing thoughts in this trapped mindset. This is where mania whoops in and says, "Lets stay in this place where we feel the most in control!"

Funny, sounds like someone we know! Appealing to humans desires to be more like God, we can turn the tables and be more like God by giving in over to our loving God. Getting on the right medication, admitting ourselves in the hospital if need be. This shows humility, which Jesus, God's One and Only Son showed on the cross ass he took our sins upon him.

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