First Day of DBT

It was brought to my attention that it was all the negative self talk causing me to overthink, get anxious, and become depressed. For someone with bipolar, these are things I do not want. So I began doing DBT therapy, and with that, comes commitment. Going so long living on autopilot caused me to be almost completely oblivious to the beauty of God's creation and how active and alive he was in my life. If I was ever to get out of the funk that I was in, I going to need to bring myself into a place of self awareness. This meant being in touch with me, and God, in the present moment. Being aware of how special I was, how loved I was, and far I have come. By focusing on the present moment, we are aware of these things and more. I even practiced mindfulness at work. It kept me calm and focused, no longer looking at when I would leave, or what I might eat on break, or even when the time would come to finally get a place of my own.

But there's some kinks to still work out.

This is where commitment comes into place. For this therapy to work, the user must be commited, even if there are snags along the way. A great friend often tells me "any behavior can be learned or lost in 3 weeks, if practiced everyday." Now, that doesn't mean I will be a professional. It just means I will highly likely to do that behavior/action consistently. When that consistancy starts we find growth over time. So everyday, at least once, I will practice mindfulness, even if it seems useless. Slowly, my brain will remember how to calm its negatively impulsive thinking cycle,  and recalibrate itself to fit a new, more positive thinking cycle. I firmly believe this is why Jesus wants me to hold off going to school. To give me the chance to change my brain so I can deal with stress not as an wall, but as a hurdle. Someday, when faced with stress, I will remain neutral, calm, and it will be broke down, not built up. God is using this standstill to erase all the years of negative self talk caused by peer pressure, bullying, familial hardship, etc. Now, my mind will not be perfect, I know that some mountains are to tall to move, but I will be strong enough to know that God can, and will, as it fits into his divine plan. 

I encourage all of you, bipolar or not, to commit to mindfulness. Be present in the moment, once a day. Turn off your devices, close your eyes, breathe, and notice the NOW, inside and out.